I’ve been depressed since a week ago knowing that the end is near. The end of the most festive celebration in this planet, where cute guys seemed like appearing out of nowhere on my TV screen. Tears of joy have been shed, screams of anguished came thundering, and those damn vuvuzela buzzed away like a swarm of killer bees.

It’s almost time, fellas. The 2010 World Cup is ending approx. 3 hours from now. Currently my lapto-clock shows me that the time is 11.48 PM, and I am now typing away, trying to keep myself awake for THE BIG GAME. And since I refuse to take part in the insufferable show RCTI has put us through, I’m here in front of my laptop trying to revisit the good glory days from the past month. I was holding back tears of “NOOOO!” when making my lineup for The Dream Team. Be advised, that the list is disgustingly biased towards Die Nationalmannschaft, Germany.
Clicky to see Mah Dream Team!

Oh my. I’ve been harboring deep lust love towards Germany since the Korea-Japan World Cup in 2002. Beforehand, I had never put too much thought for the team (I rooted for France in 1998), but then I caught a glimpse of this guy. Long story short, it was lust love at the first sight. I cheered them all through 2002, 2006, and I cried my ass off when they lost to Spain on Euro 2008. Actually, my love for Germany was immortalized during Euro 2008. I remembered that I was crushed when they lost their first game to Croatia (of all country!), was depressed and hoping for the worst when they had to meet Portugal in the next round (which they won TRIUMPHANTLY), only to have Basti Schweinsteiger cry heartbreakingly when that maling Fernando Torres sprinted pass Philip Lahm and scored that damn winning goal. They say that a strong stalkerish behavior relationship comes through the ups and downs, and there you have my ups and down being a die-hard Germany fangirl.

However this World Cup made me love Die Mannschaft more than I could possibly imagine. Since it would be a trillion light years away for the Indonesian soccer team to make it ANYWHERE, I’ve adopted Germany as my #1 team in my heart. I employ a half-assed prediction method during this World Cup, in which I believe that the team with the most handsome players would win the game (Ganteng O’Meter™). I employed the method in every game and I support the gantengest team to win, except when it comes to GERMANY. I don’t care if Germany is playing against a team of superhumanly handsome straight male models (as it was the case during the match against Spain), I will still cheer and defend Germany since my love for Die Mannschaft is not shallow (HALAAAAAHHHH!!!).

HOW ADORABLE ARE THESE GUYS?????
I’m happy to say that Germany has done me and all German supporters proud. Even though they lost that game to Spain (which ironically, tops my Ganteng O’Meter™), I will still cherish the beautiful game they exhibited during this competition. I mean, I was scared to death when they had to meet frickin’ England and effing Argentina, but they seemed to laugh at me and my scaredycattiness by DEMOLISHING both teams with such force. I still don’t know what happened during the game against Spain when they seemed to lost that spark (DAMN YOU PAUL!), but I believe that they’ve tried their darnedest and for that, I am a German hooligan forever. FOREVER.

Anyway, enough with the hahah. Here I present my extremely biased selection for this World Cup 2010:

Goalkeeper:

Manuel Neuer - Germany
First of all: He’s so cute. Those lips are to die for. Aside from his OMGSOCUTE-ness, he did a magnificent job in manning Germany’s goal, especially considering that he took that post not a month ago. His nerves did show during the first minutes of the game, but then his innate instinct and skill took over and he defend that goal like nobody’s business.
Other candidates:
Mark Paston - New Zealand (His saves during the Italy match? OUT OF THIS WORLD)
Richard Kingston - Ghana (I could have sworn he’s got some sort of a ball-magnet on his gloves!)

Defense:

Sergio Ramos - Spain
Every time I see Sergio play and barge away at his opponent, I keep asking myself, “WTF is this guy a frikking bulldozer???!!!” Seriously, you don’t want to see this guy coming at you when you have the ball in your possession. He will come at you, he will tackle the shit out of you, and he will walk away with it because he’s that good. He oftentimes dribble the ball waaaaaay out of his zone to help the offense (and bulldozing away), but he seem to always return at his post to do some kick-ass defending at the right time.

Gerard Pique - Spain
I mean, have you seen what his pretty pretty face has become because of his sheer devotion to his defending? He’s also like, Monas-tall, so there is no effing way that you will beat him during aerials. He also tackles with supreme precision and he’s not afraid to play dirty to stop the pesky guys from entering the penalty box. Plus, he’s so cute. That seals the deal for me. *giggles* WHAT? I told you this list is biased!

Arne Friedrich - Germany
Seriously, I keep having the scene from Lord Of The Rings playing in my head when I see Arne defending Germany’s goal. You know, the one when Gandalf faces Balrog in Moria. “YOU!!! SHALL!!!! NOT!!!! PASS!!!!!” This guy alongside Per Mertesacker is exactly like that for me in defending. Absolutely resolute. He’d rather take a foul (reasonably) that letting anyone get through him. Case in point:

Philip Lahm - Germany
They say he’s a left back or a right back or something with -back on it, but I keep seeing him giving assist over assist for the offense. And then I see him on his position and showing the other guy who’s boss by stealing his ball like it was his lunch money. Seriously, the German defense? The best in this World Cup, followed reeeeeally closely by Spain.

Other candidates:
Carlos Bocanegra - USA (*giggles* have you seen him?????)
Fabio Cannavaro - Itally (you can say what you want about Italy (”THEY SUCK!”) but Canna did his country proud)
Per Mertesacker - Germany (Together with Friedrich, the best center-back duo in this World Cup. I picked Pique instead of him because Pique has been through more facial injuries and suffering. I know, biased AND absurd!)
Carles Puyol - Spain (The guy has the hair of a 80’s rocker and the balls of a raging bull. No getting through this one either)

Midfield

Wesley Sneijder - Netherland
I remember I was FUMING MAD CRAZY FRUSTRATED when the idiot, short-sighted goons in Real Madrid sold him (and the equally brilliant Arjen Robben!) to pay for Crispy and Kackle. I mean, it was the WORST blunder in football history, because this guy is GOD. He’s resourceful in the midfield, he seems to appear out of nowhere and deliver sure-goal assists, and his creativity is the spirit of his team’s whole game. He was AMAZING during that game against Brazil. He’s also here spoiling the Germany-Spain love team, because I can’t ignore his awesomeness. Hup Wesley Hup!

Mesut Ozil - Germany
As a self-proclaimed Germany fan, I am ashamed to confess that I had never heard of him before this World Cup. He seemed to snigger and compelled us to remember his name by playing the shit out of the game in South Africa. He became my #1 most beloved player in this World Cup, so much that I cursed and yelled at anyone who fouled against him. He is my Pesut Usilku yang Lincah. (najis parah ya gw!)

Bastian Schweinsteiger - Germany
The spirit, the diesel, and the heart of Germany in this World Cup. He might be hindered in his effort to lift the World Cup trophy this time around, but this guy is up to great things in the future. He also matured beautifully from the brat I saw in 2006 and 2008, and it was a sight to behold. It was a pleasure to see him play. Thank you, Basti!

Xavi - Spain
Damn this guy is like BRILLIANT. He passes with a scud-like accuracy, it’s almost superhuman. This guy is every coaches’ dream player. He is a brilliant technician, he has a professor-like vision of how he wants the game to go his way, and he executes that vision flawlessly. If Spain wins tonight, I’m sure it’s definitely a result of Xavi’s maestro-like command in the field. How he is not Spain’s captain baffles me to no end.

Other candidates:
Michael Bradley - USA (A great presence in the midfield for the USMNT)
Benny Feilhaber - USA (“How???! Do you expect me????!” to leave him behind???)
Lionel Messi - Argentina (Even though Germany’s defenders gave him blueballs during the QF, guy’s got mad skills)
Andres Iniesta - Spain (Did you see his assist during the Paraguay game? Guy’s got eight legs, I swear)
Lukas Podolski - Germany (It was a hard decision to leave him behind for the starting line-up. Along with Basti, Ozil, and Khedira; Poldi is always a sight to see in his marvelous run for the championship)
Yoann Gourcuff - France (Come on, peeps. It’s Lashes’ birthday. And he’s so… pretty. And he’s my future husband. Deal.)
Arjen Robben - Netherland (The other half of Pasukan Terusir Real Madrid. Remembering that incident makes me ANGRYYYY ARGGGHH DAMN YOU REAL MADRID!)

Forward

David Villa - Spain
Seriously, this guy is ON FAYYYYAH! I can’t figure out how he seemed to ALWAYS be on the right place and the right time. Seriously man, that’s a hard skill to have. He’s also a tenacious force and a back’s nightmare to deal with, because unlike other strikers, he WORKS for his balls. Amazing World Cup for the Barca player!

Thomas Mueller - Germany
The #1 source of my jump for joys, squeals of delight, cackles of happiness during this World Cup. This guy is truly a German legend in the making. I hope Germany would find another Miro Klose to partner with him for Euro 2012, and thus making Germany another sight to see.

Other candidates:
Diego Forlan - Uruguay (When the ball gets through his feet, the possibility towards a goal is endless)
Gonzalo Higuain - Argentina (The lazier version of Mueller and Villa)
Miroslav Klose - Germany (It was a great loss that a goddamn flu made him lost the opportunity to play against Uruguay in the last match. You are a World Cup legend, Sir!)

———

My prediction for the FIFA Awards:

Golden Ball - While it’s too hard to predict, my vote goes to Bastian Schweinsteiger.

Golden Shoe- GOD PLEASE LET IT BE MUELLER PLEASE!

Fair Play Team - between Spain or Germany. Netherlands and Ghana are just DIRTY, and if Uruguay gets it, I’ll die from laughing my butt off

Young Player Award - If it doesn’t go to Mueller, I’ll scream MURDER!

Golden Glove - Between Neuer, Stekelenburg, the Uruguayan goalie (forgot his name… Muslera?), Kingston, or San Iker.

Headshots courtesy of FIFA. Amazing GIFs from the ONTD Football forum (a.k.a. the best place on Earth)

PS: Please don’t tell my mom I’m doing this. :p

Kill: ???

Honestly, I haven’t found anyone yet at this stage of the competition. I’ve watched maybe 50% of the game (especially the 8 PM games since now I’m an old lady and it’s getting harder for me to stay up late), and nobody has yet to become egregiously annoying. I might want to kill this guy for HIDEOUS hairstyle. Just look at him:

Gervinho of Cote d’Ivoire. QUEL HORREUR.

I was freaking out the whole time he was shown on my screen during Portugal - CDI match last Tuesday. It’s like… I don’t even know what it resembles other than a reincarnation process gone wrong: a kain pel who wants to be Alicia Keys.

Maybe I’ve grown into a softie (natch!), but hair alone won’t make me kill a dude. Now if Germany were to lost… I might put the culprit in this category. PRAYING IT NEVER HAPPENS! GO TEAM DEUTSCHLAND!

To see who I’d like to marry and to…. you know , JUMP!

Marry: Yoann Gourcuff

Since my ultimate crush since forever ago, Christoph Metzelder of Germany is currently being eaten by a big black smoke of nasty injury (just look at his Real Madrid stats. I want to cry) and therefore cannot be included in this list, I have to find an alternative. Which is easy. Hellllllloooooooo Delicious Eyelashes Attached to A Beautiful Face Attached to An Insane Body Who Is Not Afraid To Strip On The Field a.k.a Yoann Gourcuff.

another one:

another one:

I need to stop, but after another one:

OK, now google your own “Yoann Gourcuff naked torso” pics.

Yoann is like the cheese coating of Richeese Stik Nabati Aah: it makes everything good. I normally cannot stand France and found the team as interesting as a moldy graham cracker sitting on top of a wilted lettuce leaf, but Yoann here has made me a changed woman. I’d happily gorge on Red Bulls, espressos, crushed diet pills, etc to stay up late at 1 PM to watch him them play. Yes, I am that murahan. But look at the boy. There are some issues to be said about our relationship him though. First of all, he is so pretty it’s crazy. I mean the lashes alone! I went through a silly cosmetic procedure at Anata Salon in Bandung to have my eyelashes curled (it involved scotch tape. PLENTY of scotch tape. And suspiciously smelly chemicals), and the result cannot even light a candle to Yoann’s lush and purdy purdy Maybelline-approved lashes. Second of all, he seemed to have a questionnable taste in art, because he agreed to be featured in THIS PHOTOSHOOT. Behold:

I CAN’T EVEN… Ok, I’m being too dramatic. Of course I can. And I would.

There’s also a small and irrelevant issue called The Girlfriend. Pfft. *spits*

Anyway, I would so marry Yoann and have a kindergarten-full of babies with pretty eyelashes. tee hee. I know you would too, if you’re straight girl or a homo man! WHO WOULDN’T! If I haven’t sold Yoann enough for you, then you might want to look at this pic to see… ummm… “what he has to offer”. BOY BE PACKIN’!

Fudge: (UGHHHH) Cristiano Ronaldo

Just writing about CR makes me feel as if I’m taking my walk of shame out of a dodgy hourly motel in Pramuka, wearing last night’s dress and carrying my ass to the nearest Circle K to get a disposable toothbrush. I mean… UGH. Normally, I can’t stand him. I can’t stand his whiny protests every time he fails to connive the referee by falling on his ass by his own trickery. I cannot stand his clothing choices. I cannot stand his stable of Tricks and Hos. I cannot stand his overpowering Euro-cheese. I imagine (yes I have an over-active imagination) that during the morning after, he would shove me aside (”I JUST WANT TO CUDDLE!”) because he wants to have full concentration in trimming his manbrows.

But man, boy’s got this and I cannot deny:

That’s why I’m putting him under this category. A manwhore needs to be acknowledged as one. I imagine I would… NO. I’m not telling you this time. Btw, feel free to stalk him (or ask him the tips of perfect eyebrow-grooming) on his official Twittoi.

And this question goes to the proud members of my BlackBerry Messenger Chatgroup, Giung and the Gang (who came up with this name anyway?): Kira-kira si CR banyaknya makan nasi apa daging? Tee hee.

Pictures from the interwebs. I don’t own anything except my hormone-fueled, overactive, stalkerish imagination.

“OHAI! I’m just a fluffy Piggeh… and I feel a looming threat nearby!”

“IT’S THE ANNNNEEEEERABLE MOCHIMONSAURUS! HALPS!”

Mochi: “I’m cute and I can have anything I want. Right, Cici Tephy?”
Piggeh : “… HALP MEH!”

NOM

NOM

EHHHHNN!!! “I love chewing. Piggeh is mah friend. NOM NOM NOM!”
Piggeh: “…………………..”

“I frown at your shenanigans.” -Pippo

DISCLAIMER: No puppehs was harmed for the making of this… thingy. The same can’t be said for a certain stuffed animal though… RIP, Piggeh.

Anyway, to spice up this blog, I present to you my favorite dumpling of all time: choi pan (pictured here with yummy pork shumai).

This particular choi pan is the best choi pan I’ve ever come across. Most choi pans you’d find in malls, etc tend to be on the WRONG WRONG WRONG side. Either the skin tends to get too thick and chewy, the filling (mostly sauteed dried shrimps and jicama/bengkuang) tastes off, or even the chili sauce doesn’t have the right combination of spicy/sour/sweet/savory. Unfortunately, these choi pans do not get sold anywhere as far as I know. One of my aunts brought these over as snacks for a family gathering. Actually, when it’s her turn to bring snacks, she always brings these dumplings. She claimed that these were preordered from a neighbor, and that she doesn’t accept big orders. *grumbles, mutters, spits*

Too bad though. She can make a fortune by selling these choi pans because they are the best I’ve ever tasted!

Please note that since I got into fitness, selera musik ai jadi rada jedak-jeduk gitu deh ye. Harap maklummmm!

Always Midnight - Pat Monahan (this song is incredibly beautiful btw!)

Defying Gravity - Glee Cast (Lea Michele & Chris Colfer)

Hey, Soul Sister - Train

Won’t Go Quietly - Example

Heartburn - Alicia Keys

Candy - Aggro Santos feat. Kimberly Wyatt

Try Sleeping with A Broken Heart - Alicia Keys
SPOILER ALERT! Buat yang lagi HBL, ngegantung, TERUTAMA BUAT YANG LAGI HBL, dll dst–you get the gist; stay at least ten city blocks away from this song. You have been warned. Possible side effects: lebayisme, mewekisme, dan a sudden urge to kais-kais tanah.

Love Drunk - Boys Like Girls

She Said - Plan B

Dancing On My Own - Robyn

Chances - Five For Fighting

Selamat melanggar hukum!!!!!!!

Since I currently have no interesting story to tell you (my life is boring), I am reaching back to the past to keep this blog alive. I’d like to tell you a bizarre thing that happened to me when I was in senior high.

I had the idea to write this after watching this True Blood minisode. Gosh, I HATE EVANGELICALS! To make matters worse, a few of my aunts are like die hard evangelicals who screamed at me and attempt to murder me with their side-eyes every time they have the chance. I don’t think that they care that much if I go to hell after I die, I think they just can’t help the need to leash out their smugness and holier than thou-ness. But their crazy cannot even begin to touch the crazy of this crazy person I had the misfortune to meet yeeeeaaars ago.

I know that some of you are not too inclined to read long-ass story, but for those who wants to learn the art of making easy money (and getting a sure reservation to hell), click away!

When I was in my second year of high school, I had to be hospitalized for a week. I still don’t know from what, it was between paratyphus, dengue fever, or me being lazy (I kid, I kid). I was at my weakest, i couldn’t even walk, I ate soft food, the whole shebang. Point is, I was weak. Bona fide sick. “I thought I was dying” -sick. Sick sick.

So imagine my surprise when one day, this butch-looking woman entered my room during my midday nap and woke me, who by the way, WAS SICK. I thought Butchie was a friend of my mom’s friend or something, for having the gall to enter the room of a SICK stranger. She asked me my name (my answer was in the neighborhood of “nggghh mmm”), spewed out some pleasantries, when suddenly, SHE STARTED PREACHING SOME GOD STUFF. My mind was kind of hazy from the fever, the loss of bodily fluid (I was mencret2 for daysss like crazy), and there were like three hundred different kinds of meds flowing in my blood, but I remember she insinuated that I got sick because of my sins and that was God punishing me. Back then I might be too weak and haven’t found the gospel that is DListed, but if it happened today I’d say BITCH YOU CRAZY.

She yammered about hellfire and tribulation blahblahblah for the next five minutes (which I slept through), and suddenly she went all “let’s pray!!!” and at the time I’d obliged to any activity that would involve me closing my eyes. She prayed and put her hands on my head when she started spazzing out yabbadda dabba hohoho gah! gah! gah! Later, my “religious” friend told me that she “might”, and by “might” I mean TOTALLY WENT BATSHIT CRAZY she may or may not be able to do so; talking in spirit-tongue. You know, it’s like parseltongue for Holy Spirit-speak. Nyerhe. I may not be religious but I know fo’shooo that there is NO FUCKING WAY that The Holy Spirit will come near a crazy lady who disturbs a SICK person during napping time. Nuh-uh.

By the time she was done, I was silently saying a teensy little prayer myself to thank God for ending this. I would rather had needle sticking in all of my veins than to suffer another minute with Crazy Butchie. BUT! Apparently God was not finished showing me the art of crazy. Nooooooo!!!! He decided to show me the even more elusive art, which was the art of “GETTING MONEY BY USING HIS NAME (THOSE BITCHES!) FROM SICK PEOPLE WHO CANNOT EVEN THINK STRAIGHT.” That’s right. Before she gingerly excused herself, she insisted forced demanded asked for a “donation”. I stupidly (hey! I was sick!) got my wallet, that thankfully only had the 20,000 bill at most and some 5,000 and 1,000. I was like “Yo, Butchie, I only have this much” (not really, but you get the gist) and she ASTOUNDINGLY said “20,000 is OK.”

I gave her the money, she left, and back then I was too sick and weak to feel duped. I was just HAPPY OH MY GOD THANK YOU that she left.

But now? My blood boils every time I remember the incident. I mean, THE AUDACITY!

I believe that she’s just a tiny fish among much, much bigger predatory fishes that are soliciting money with the guise of religious activities. I’m not saying that money donations are bad, I’m saying that there should be some kinds of ethics in getting them. Not soliciting sick people should rank among the top of those rules. Other rules that I could think of is not using the money from your congregation to buy yourself a niiiiiice sports car or a trip to Europe (with someone of the same gender who may or may not be a male prostitute). People have the right to know what their money is being used for. Saying that it’s “To serve Jesus” is simply unacceptable. Neither is “to absolve all your sins.” Those reasons, sadly, are the top two causes given by those batshit crazy assholes who give bad name to God-loving people. Sadly, most of them are evangelicals.

For Crazy Butchie Lady: HAPPY? I hope my 20,000 bought you some DIGNITY! Shame on you for preying on sick people! GOD WOULD NOT APPROVE!

Thanks to the always-awesome-but-nowadays-too-lazy-to-blog Rima for the hilariously spot on comic!

So yes, I already had a long lineup of shows to catch up before I picked up Spartacus: Blood and Sand.

Why?

*thinking very hard for a dignified and plausible reason*

Ehnnn… err….

Well I’ve read good reviews about it. I heard that it was renewed for a second season after only showing one or two episodes or something. And… I heard it was about gladiators in BC Rome! What’s not to like?!

You do know that I was lying right? For the real reason…

Oh crap, who am I fooling? I started watching it because they said it was like a tamer version of something that starts with a “P” and ends with an “N” and rhymes with “CORN”. Yep.

Sooooo I may be at fault for expecting just that CORN from Spartacus. And yes, I may also be at fault for “promoting” this show to some people *side-eye* who eagerly lapped it up just to fast-forward to the CORN ones and totally dismissed everything except for that ridiculously hot hot hot HOT HOTTTT Spartyboy.

But I am not completely at fault. The first episodes of Spartyboy were indeed gratuituos, in boobs and gore only. I once said it was like Cinta Fitri (naaatch) with boobs and people casually hacking other people. Or like a low-budget 300 with Raam Punjabi’s minions as the writers. I have to admit, I fast-forward some of the scenes because I could definitely see where it was going and most of those times, I was right. I hang on because Spartyboy is just. SO. AWESOMELY. HOT.

Then the show completely blindsided me with the event happening at the very end of episode six. I won’t give you any spoilers because you. just. have. to. see. for. yourselves. That was the moment I know that the game was about to change. I couldn’t believe how the writers managed to write a character so scheming and sooooo devious such as Batiatus (Sparty’s master, which will be called Batshit from now on), yet so skilled in his evil-doing scheming thing, nobody saw THAT coming. Amazing.

It got better and better, up to the one of the best season finale ever in the history of television. I won’t give you any huge spoilers, but rest assured, I did not bestow that title lightly. It also confuses me because I normally cannot stand gore and the finale is like a hacking-fest. What differs Spartyboy and other gore movie (think of SAW. Ick. Nast.) is that this time, the gore is justified. At the end of the credit title, I was frantically searching for mah Blackberry to tweet this:

Kudos for the writers for not taking the cheap suspense trick to keep viewers latched on for the second season (*side-eye to you, Supernatural S4 writers and Grey’s Anatomy writers). This finale proves that you can maintain the viewers’ loyalty when you reward them with a great, amazing, and EPIC season finale.

So seriously, if your current TV rotations’ latest episodes haven’t arrived at your tukang dvd langganan, do try Spartyboy. And for those who still live with parents, mind the door. EVERYTHING is pretty graphic. Definitely NOT for the prudes.

Andy Whitfield (a.k.a. Spartyboy), I know you’re like… um… taken, and it’s cool and everything; but should you ever find yourself… um… *giggles* single again, I’m kind of, you know… availabuhls. I like puppies, Body Combat, and insanely ripped male anatomy. So, you know… email me! Love, Tephy.

Best character

Illythia
AfterElton calls her Paris Hilton BC, which couldn’t be more perfect. There are two kinds of women in ancient Roman times: the kickass and the beyotch. Paris BC here is the finest grade-A supreme beyotch. She has absolutely zero morals, and a whole lotta power in her hands (and boobs). Her power of scheming could probably only be rivaled by the equally-evil Batshit. But since she has boobs, then OF COURSE she’s more dangerous. For example, it only took a whisper and a flash of her boobs to persuade her husband to turn against his words to protect Sparty’s village (and set the Sparty story in motion). Don’t even imagine what would happen to anyone that caused her discomfort. Best case scenario, is that you would become a slave like Spartypants. Worst case? It’s what happened at the season finale. I love the last scene of her, smiling like a true beyotch from hell, knowing perfectly what was going to happen and loving the prospect of it. With the absence of other worthy beyotches on TV these days, Paris BC is the current Queen Beyotch. You bet your ass I’m taking notes.

Most painful to watch:

Crisco Crixus
Yawn. Every time I see Crisco, I’m reminded of Indonesian politicians who can only blahblahblahblahblah (and spits) and yet still fails to convince the masses. I think the fault lies not in the character, but the actor who plays him. Sorry Whoever You Are That I’m Not Even Bothered To Google (WYATINEBTG), but you’re so… bland. Even when you’re supposed to be lying in the pool of your own blood, I can feel you were still trying really hard to act. Every time Crisco tried to rouse the audience, I raised my eyebrow because a piece of steamed gourd could do a better job. Every time he was supposed to look sad/inspired/happeh/tormented, I laughed my ass off because he kind of looked constipated. The better moment was when he did what he did in the season finale. I finally sensed something from him other than the persona of a steamed gourd or the passing of a doody. But maybe it’s because the finale was SO GOOD that it kind of rubbed of on him. Maybe. So WYATINEBTG, please, please, please… find some time for an intensive acting class in-between your body building sessions. PS: Don’t track me down and kill meh.

Pictures from the interwebs

For a hilarious take on Spartypants, check out that AfterElton link I gave you. Awesomely funny and dedicated recaps, and hilarious nicknames for all of the characters.

Since apparently now the people I work with/for HUMANS can easily google my name and come to this den of iniquity, I (*tears* *shudder* *shame*) unfortunately am forced to start whining babbling farting words writing in a much more appropriate, “business-like” (whatever that means), and civilized way. Obviously, it will hurt more than a month without coffee, so please understand if in the near future I might sound like a retarded ostrich. (aren’t I always?)

First of all, I must admit that I haven’t been paying any attention to all of the Susno brouhaha. I mean, we sort-of already know how it will turn out, right? (SPOILER ALERT: People will forget about Susno’s shady past; and with the help of the police’s gross unprofessionalism and mishandling, the amnesiac Indonesians will sympathize towards his “cause” *whatever it is* and most probably make him a front runner for the KPK Chief candidacy *sounds like a plot of a cheap horror movie? because in a way, it kind of is*)

So, what’s to write? Hmmmmm… How about my favorite topic which happens to be MYSELF!

No, I won’t write anything about my new job because it’s seriously nothing of interest. Except for the fact that I’ve gained 4 kgs already in a month from morning exercise deprivation (and stress-related impulsive nomming). No more of that very effective fat-burning cross trainer session or morning RPM because I have to arrive at office before *annoying drumroll* 7 AM. And yes, it is THAT boring. So, moving on.

Wait. I actually forget the topic I had in my brain like, 30 seconds ago.

See. Me = Retarded ostrich.

I really need to start chomping Gibolan for snacks before I forget the password of this blog.

(setting: a new workplace that–supposedly, screens their new employees better for signs of mental and/or mind defect)

“Eh, anak Unpar ya? Jurusan apa?”
“HI.”
“Eh, denger-denger… plagiat ya?”
“Iya.”

… and the conversation I imagine would end, with the “accused” new employee flashing an apologetic smile, for it wasn’t his/her fault for having a stupid plagiator in his/her almamater.

But of course, the following conversation was the one that did happen. I swear. I might be paraphrasing a little bit, but the gists are correct.

“Eh anak Unpar ya? Jurusan apa?”
“HI.”
“Eh denger- denger… plagiat ya?”
“OH! Enggak kok! Mas B kan pintar banget, standarnya internasional kok! Caranya dia bikin artikel itu, cara-cara orang luar negeri gitu deh. Orang sini mana ngerti. Susah ya jadi orang yang terlalu pinter.”

Hence, the title of my post.

And for the record, the person who said such stupidity is my senior. Apparently, the idiot virus has been airborne since God knows when. I can’t even begin to tell you how I’ve been thanking my lucky stars for being somewhat immune.

As for the Exceedingly Stupid Person in Question (not you B), I’ve got news that maybe shocking for you: plagiarism everywhere is plagiarism. Even by international standards. And maybe you meant, he was plagiarizing in an international style? How debonair of him.

PS: Due to a new… ehm! job I started a few weeks back, I might be abandoning this hidey-hole for awhile. I will only blog if… well, if I feel like it. Merci

I found this quote from Teddy Roosevelt, which I think is fitting. Just change the word “President” and “America” by using your own impressive power of deduction.

“To announce that there must be no criticism of the president, or that we are to stand by the president right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but it is morally treasonable to the American public.”

That’s all I have to say.

Seriously, how many times and how many ways that the universe must show to you that the demigod you’ve been worshiping is actually a dud?

“Talk sense to a fool, and he calls you foolish.”
- Euripides

PS: Silakan periksa skripsi gw. 100% free plagiat. Kerangka Pemikirannya setau gw belum pernah ada yang pake sebelum gw. Efek sampingnya: BANJIR FOOTNOTE!!!!!!!! Seriusan, satu kalimat bisa sampe ditangkringin 4-5 footnote. And the ironic thing is, I put extra effort to be extra prudent about footnoting and referencing because I knew that THAT GUY was a killer about plagiarism. Oh how dark is the universe’s sense of humour.